manners
by McMuffin
Summary: Haymitch and their six-year-old son pull a prank on Effie. Rating for language.


Just a fluffy fic, beta'd by the wonderful supershipper.

* * *

It's just past four and Haymitch comes inside from fixing the fence, broken during a snowstorm three nights ago. He discards his jacket at the door, kicks off his shoes and heads for the lounge room, pulling his gloves off in the process. There's only about half a foot of snow in the ground, but it's still cold out there, and already he feels warmer. He just wishes Effie were home so he could cuddle with her, preferably whilst naked.

"Ah, shit!" he exclaims, tripping on a discarded toy car, barely managing to brace himself as he falls hard on the carpet.

A quiet gasp comes from the middle of the room where his six-year-old son is steering a toy racecar around a track. Except for his light blonde hair and blue eyes, Zayne looks just like his dad, and he also behaves much like Haymitch did as a kid. Despite his mother's potential wrath, Zayne leaves his toys about, plays pranks, teases his mum - along with his dad - and disobeys almost everything Effie tells him to do.

"Da-ad! You swo-ore!" The look on his son's face is almost comical; Haymitch has to hold back laughter, but agrees with his wife that swearing is something they mustn't let Zayne do.

"Yeah, I did," he grunts, pushing himself up onto his knees.

"That's naughty!"

"I know. I shouldn't have said it."

"Mummy would tell you "manners" if she saw." Zayne replies, mimicking Effie's voice when he says the word 'manners'. His accent is more like that of district 12, but there are some words he says like his mum.

Haymitch chuckles, shifting to sit next to his son. "She would, wouldn't she?"

Zayne nods before making one of his toy cars crash into another. "Crash!"

"Can I have a go, Z?" Haymitch asks, and is handed another remote control. "Which car does this control?"

"Umm... That one!"

He places the purple car on the tracks and starts driving it around the circuit. Effie's been at the Capitol for the last week, and in that time they've built up the circuit around half of the room, so it's quite a complex track, and Haymitch has to admit it's fun to play with. He wonders whether she'll allow them to keep it in place when she gets home in a few hours - she's a generous person, but she's also a neat freak, who knows which side will win out.

A few minutes later a smirk forms on Haymitch's face and he turns to face Zayne. "Hey, do you want to shock mummy?"

"Yes!" the reaction is instantaneous; the kid loves to play tricks.

"When your mum gets home from the Capitol and asks how you've been... Tell her you've been 'shit'," he smirks.

His son's blue eyes widen. "Really?"

"Yeah, just this once. But if you ever say it again you'll be in trouble," Haymitch warns.

His son's face takes on a mischievous expression as he resumes driving the car around the track, narrowly avoiding collision with the car Haymitch is controlling. Haymitch thinks Zayne may enjoy teasing his mum a little too much, but the same could be said for him. Effie's just so easy to tease, and she takes it in stride; knows how susceptible she is.

A few hours later, Zayne is painting a picture, trying to mimic the gorgeous one of Peeta's that hangs in their hallway. But the boy's trees are wonky and his mockingjay looks more like a blob than a bird. Haymitch is cooking a stew for dinner, awaiting Effie's arrival home. He heard the train's horn about ten minutes ago, so he knows she won't be long. He would be picking her up but there's now a taxi service in the district, and she prefers to use it to generate revenue for the local company. Effie's become something of the district's representative in the Capitol, as too many people from 12 hate the place. He hears the front door open and the click of her heels on the floor, followed by the quick footsteps of their son.

"Mummy!" Zayne squeals, undoubtedly launching himself at Effie's legs.

"Z! Oh, I've missed you!" Effie exclaims brightly.

Haymitch puts the lid on the stew and walks into the hall; he doesn't want to miss this. He smiles when he sees his wife and son hugging at the front door, her suitcase discarded behind them on the verandah. He walks down the hall towards them as Effie releases Zayne from her grasp and grins down at him.

"How was your week with daddy? Did you two have fun?"

Haymitch reaches them and kisses Effie's cheek before catching Zayne's eye with a smirk.

"No. It was shit," his son says like it's something he'd say every day.

"Excuse me?" Effie gasps, wondering if she heard correctly. "What did you just say?"

"I sa-aid," Zayne sighs exaggeratedly, "It was shit."

"Oh!" Effie exclaims, clamping a hand over her mouth and turning to look at Haymitch, but he's conveniently bringing her suitcase inside and closing the door. "That... Is a bad word, Zayne!"

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!" The six-year old chants. Haymitch didn't ask him to take it this far, but he seems to be milking it for all he can get.

"My gosh!" His mother's handbag hits the floor and she kneels down to look at her son. "Use your manners, sweetie! That is a naughty word. You musn't say it."

Zayne nods, but his mouth is still curled in a smirk. "Shit okay."

"Zayne Abernathy!" shrieks Effie, her face taking on a purple tinge, and Haymitch is using all of his willpower not to laugh.

"Shit," their son says again, laughing as he chants. "Shit, shit, shit!"

"Manners!" Effie exclaims, looking around flustered, trying to figure out how to control her rebellious son.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!"

Effie glances back at Haymitch, looking scandalised and he loses control, laughter bursting from his throat. He looks at Zayne, who is grinning, and also joins in giggling.

"Wh-" Effie looks between the two, shock evident on her face. Haymitch is bending over, clutching his stomach when she finally puts it together. "You... You planned this!"

Haymitch nods, his eyes tearing up when he sees her horrified expression, and he reaches a hand out to high five Zayne. Effie looks between her husband and son, and huffs, folding her arms with a pout.

"That wasn't funny," she says, attempting to retain some decorum.

"It was, mummy!" Zayne giggles, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "Shit!"

"Relax, babe," Haymitch murmurs in her ear before she can get mad again. He watches her take a deep breath before raising an eyebrow at their son.

"It was funny, was it, little rascal?" Effie smirks, her eyes glimmering happily. "I dare you to say that word again."

Zayne glances uncertainly between his parents and Haymitch nods his head, giving his approval.

"Shit!" The kid barely manages to squeal before Effie's ditched her heels and it chasing after him around the house with threats of being tickled. Haymitch smiles to himself, listening to their laughter and giggles, happy that his wife is home.


End file.
